I have always been one to lose myself in movies. I completely invest my feelings into the characters and laugh when they laugh as well as cry when they cry. I am an emotional person. I am even more so now that I am a mother. I was watching the movie Saving Mr. Banks tonight and found myself overwhelmed with emotion about the relationship the young girl had with her father. He was important to her. That relationship affected her into adulthood. It got my mind circling about how my relationship with my own father has affected me, and also how my daughter's relationship with her father will affect her future.
My relationship with my father has evolved over the years into a beautiful thing. I call him almost daily just to chat with him about random things. We are very alike in a lot of ways but still find a way to respectfully disagree on others. It wasn't always like that. My dad was the enforcer. I was a troublemaker. Looking back on my childhood it is easier to remember the punishments than the laughs. There was a lot of laughter, but as a kid I always held on the bad for some reason. The turning point in our relationship happened at about 17. I went from hating him for pulling me out of my high school my senior year and moving me across the state, to being grateful that he loved me enough to fight the fights. He loved me enough to punish me. He loved me enough to show up at a party I wasn't supposed to be at and drag me home. He loved me enough to sit on my bed and wait for me to try and sneak back into my bedroom. It was that year that I started to understand that him 'ruining my life' was really just him trying to save it. Oh, dear sweet hindsight...
I know that there are so many people that didn't have a dad around for those things. Maybe your mom became the sole enforcer or maybe there was just no enforcing at all. A lot of men seem to think that their role in a family is unnecessary. They think that they can just send a check and have the occasional weekend and then their job is done. Then there are some that don't even do that. The special few that don't offer a single ounce of support to their child monetarily, or even more importantly, emotionally. I will never be able to understand how someone can abandon a child in that way.
Some say that a man learns how to be a father from his own father. If their father was abusive, they will be abusive. If their father took off, they will take off. Thankfully that is proven wrong on a daily basis. Men standing up and realizing that they have been given the precious responsibility of teaching, guiding, encouraging, and yes, even disciplining, a child.
My dad's father passed away while he and his twin brother were still in his mother's womb. How did a man that was born without a father grow to become not only the best father, but one of the best human beings I have ever encountered?
It took me about 30 years to discover it, but I finally learned his secret. He didn't have an earthly father to mold his life after, but he did have a Heavenly Father. He loved me unconditionally, even when I was incredibly unloveable. So does Jesus. He was hurt when I made poor choices. So is Jesus. He was filled with joy when I finally decided to surrender my all to Christ. So was Jesus.
It doesn't matter where any of us come from or who are parents are, good, bad, or indifferent. We all have the ability to call on our Heavenly Father for guidance, love, support, encouragement, and especially forgiveness.
So, no, a dad isn't necessary, but the Father is.
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