It was a Thursday night. I only remember that because I
watched Grey's Anatomy that night. Meredith hadn't heard from her husband all
day and was beginning to worry that something happened to him. Her friends did
what friends do and encouraged her to disregard her worry and assume he was
safe. If you watch the show, you already know he wasn't. If you don't, her
husband had been in a car accident and was in a hospital with severe injuries
that eventually ended in his death. I've been watching this show since the
first episode so naturally I cried my face off when this main character died.
After I stopped crying about the death of a fictional character, I headed to
bed. At midnight I received a message from my friend Robby's fiancé.
I would normally have responded with calm encouragement that
maybe he stopped at a friend's house, but because of the show I had just seen,
I went into panic mode. My stomach dropped and I just couldn't shake the
feeling that something bad had happened to him. She finally found him about an hour later. He was in a
hospital in Mobile, AL. All they told her was that he was involved in a head on
collision, his legs were broken, and he is in surgery.
I will finish the rest of the story, but first I want to tell
you a little bit about these two people.
I have known Robby
since he was 15. I met him because he is my best friend's cousin and I
basically adopted him as the little brother I never had. He has grown into such
an incredible young man since then. I was so excited when he told me that he
had found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Her name was
Emily. All I knew of her at this point was that she was adopting a precious
little boy who had been in the NICU since birth because of withdrawals. His
mother was a homeless drug addict and could not care for him. After his time in
the NICU and then foster care, Emily was finally able to take him home.
She went through this
adoption process because she so badly wanted to be a mother but was told by
doctors that she wouldn't be able to. Like me, she has a blood clotting
disorder that makes a healthy pregnancy very unlikely. Like me, she also beat
those odds. She was pregnant. This was exciting news for Robby and Emily, but
still very scary because the risk of miscarriage was extremely high. She was
started on blood thinner injections and was considered a high risk pregnancy.
Getting back to that night... Emily was now 6 months
pregnant with their baby girl and naturally I was concerned with how this
accident was going to affect her. She seemed as calm as could be expected when
I talked to her. She finally got to see him, but I don't think she was prepared
for how bad it was. He was lucky to be alive. The first responders said that
when they saw the truck, they didn't expect to find any survivors. He had to be
taken to the hospital by a helicopter.
His injuries consisted of a brain bleed, 4 cracked ribs, a
C-6 neck fracture, pelvis broken in 5 places, a ruptured spleen, left femur
broken in 2 places, right tibia broken, his left ankle shattered in over 100
pieces, his right ankle shattered in 30 pieces, and extensive scarring over
both legs and his left arm.
I arrived in Mobile the next morning and joined his brother
and Emily in the surgical trauma waiting room. This was the first time I had
ever even met Emily. I loved her instantly. As scary and unknown as this
situation was, she just had a peace about her. She spoke so positively about
the situation. She never once spoke about how this was going to affect her, but
instead focused on how she would be there to support Robby, no matter what. You
think you know how you will respond to a situation like this, but she was
handling it much better than I would have.
We sat in that waiting room for hours. We just wanted
answers. Was he ok? Would he walk again? Was there brain trauma? Just tell us
something! I tell you what; waiting for answers is hard to do. Chris and his
girlfriend had to head back to New Orleans so it was just Emily and I waiting
at this point. We waited at the elevator, hoping to just get a glimpse of him
to give us peace of mind. After hours of waiting they finally brought him up
from surgery.
We went into his room in the ICU not knowing what to expect.
Initially, he was happy to see us. In true Karen fashion, I cracked some
inappropriate joke and he even laughed a little bit. He gave us hugs and kisses
and was happy to see us. That didn't last long. It hit him pretty suddenly. The
pain. I can only try to imagine what his broken body must have been feeling,
but I hope I never know. We tried to calm him down but he was inconsolable. The
pain was just too much. He yelled out in agonizing pain and it was unbearable
to watch. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I left the room quickly
because I didn't want him to see me. Emily was right behind me doing the same.
We both just sat in the waiting room and cried. Once we were able to regain our
composure, we went back in. When you go to the doctor complaining of pain, they
will ask you to rate it on a scale of 1 to 10. Robby was at 1000. Emily stayed
by his side though. Speaking softly and calmly to him and telling him
everything would be ok.
After visiting hours were over, Emily and I headed to their
house in Pensacola. The first song that came on the radio was the love song by
Ed Sheeran called Thinking Out Loud. The first line in the song is "When
your legs don't work like they used to before..." Obviously, we both
started crying again. We continued to talk about what they were going to do and
how they were going to get through this.
We found out later that the accident was caused by a man
they assume was trying to commit suicide. He was traveling west bound on I-10
at Wilcox Blvd in Alabama and hit Robby head on. The driver died instantly. He
carried very little insurance and what he did have was used up before Robby
even made it to the hospital. He was living in his mother's home who passed
away two years ago. There has been very little encouragement from his lawyer
about ever receiving any type of compensation that would even make a dent in
the massive amount of medical bills that continue to pile up.
Since the accident Robby has undergone 5 more major
surgeries on his legs. Each one making the day he will be able to walk again
seem farther and farther away. Initially they said it would be 3 months, now
they are saying hopefully in a year.
They were able to set up a hospital bed in their living room
so that Robby could leave the hospital. Physical therapists and nurses come to
the house to work with him and dress his wounds that can't seem to heal. His
last surgery was supposed to be minor and ended up being far more extensive
than they had planned. The doctors even had to use cadaver bones to try and
piece back together his shattered left foot. If this recent surgery proves to
be unsuccessful, the next conversation will be about amputation. As of now,
because of all of the nerve damage, he is in constant pain and his left foot
always stings like the pain you feel when your foot falls asleep. Can you
imagine? I hate when my foot falls asleep for a few minutes and now this is
just another part of his "new normal".
When you look for a place to live you don't look at it
through the eyes of needing it to be handicap accessible. This is one of the
many struggles he has to face on a daily basis. The way their new house was set
up, the living room is sunken in. This means they have to set up ramps just for
Robby to be able to get to the bathroom. It takes him almost 20 minutes to be
able to maneuver around the small spaces and over the ramps.
On August 5th their lives changed once more. Amelia was finally here. Their family was
finally complete. Robby is so in love with his baby girl and it is incredibly
wonderful to see a smile on his face again. As with all newborns, chaos has
also joined their family. Davis is almost 2 now and is trying to adjust to life
as a big brother.
I went to stay with them for a few days to try and give
Emily a break. She is continuing to be so strong for her family. She is doing
her best to take care of the needs of her newborn and toddler while still
having to take care of Robby and all the other household duties. It is hard on
Robby to not be able to help her, but he is great at cuddling with Amelia so
Emily can get some things done around the house.
I am sharing this story with all of you for a few reasons.
Personally, I believe in the power of prayer. I believe that God can heal the
broken and give comfort to the weary. I ask that you pray for this family. The
next reason is to ask for your help. Robby will most likely not be able to return to
work for at least a year.
Take a second and think about how stressful finances are for
all of us and how scary it would be if you couldn't pay your rent or even buy
your babies diapers. These are real concerns for this family right now. Emily
will be able to start looking for employment soon, but even then she will have
to pay for childcare as well as care for Robby.
I set up a fundraising account for them with You Caring
because unlike Gofund me, this site is free and doesn't keep a percentage of
what is raised.
Even if you can only donate 5 dollars, remember that 5
dollars can buy over 20 diapers.
If you want to help in other ways such as donating items
like diapers, clothes, or even gift cards, please contact me and I will make
sure to get it to them.
You may not know them, or even me, but if someone you loved
was ever in a similar situation, your only hope may be to rely on the
generosity and compassion of strangers.
If all you can do at this time is click on that share button
and offer someone else the opportunity to help them out, that would also be
greatly appreciated.
Click here to donate or follow the link below. You can also copy the link and share it directly to your networking site.
