I was bad. There is just no way to sugar coat it. My poor parents. Bless their hearts. I wasn't a bad person, there is a big difference between the two. I made bad choices. I had bad reactions to consequences. I'm not sure how I would feel about 15 year old me if I hadn't become a mom. People always make reference to how bad I was and how now I'm going to have to pay for it when my kid is that age.
I am aware that the list I am about to make has been done a thousand times before, but this is my list for my child. These are things that I need her to know. Things that I hope she will spend at least five minutes reading before she becomes a teenager and maybe appreciate them in ways I never did.
So, here it goes, my first list...
1. Forgive yourself. Quickly.
I have always struggled with this one. Everyone always talks about how important it is to forgive others, but forgiving yourself is a necessary step in growing up. You will make mistakes. Probably a lot of mistakes. There will be consequences. All mistakes have them whether you see it right away or not. Then, forgive yourself. Don't hold on to the guilt of a mistake. Let it go. Move on.
2. Cry.
Sometimes the strength is hidden behind the tears.
3. Be a good friend.
Of all the things I regret from my teen years, betraying one of my best friends is at the top of the list.
4. Kindness should always be your first response.
People are mean. They just are. It's a fact of life. Even when people are mean, be kind. Even when people are rude, be kind.
5. Smile.
Don't just smile at your friends, smile at strangers. Smile at the cashier. Smile at the waitress. Smile at the old man walking his dog. Definitely smile at the mean people previously described.
5. Have faith.
This one isn't just about religion. That is something you will decide for yourself when the time comes. Have faith in your teachers, they only want to help you. Have faith in your parents, we will never be perfect people, but our love for you is. Have faith in yourself. Believe that you can do anything you set your mind to. If you ever lose faith in yourself, know that your parents have enough faith in you for three lifetimes.
6. Don't have sex.
You aren't ready. You aren't emotionally prepared enough to deal with all that sex brings to the table. I'm not saying never, I'm not even requesting that you wait until you are married (although that would be ideal), but I do hope you wait until you are ready. 16 isn't it. You can't know that yet, but you will.
7. Learn from your mistakes.
Someone once told me that a smart person learns from their mistakes, but a wise person learns from someone else's. I was neither. There's another word for people like me.
8. Do not, under any circumstance, ever, in the history of all evers, pick up a cigarette and smoke it.
This shouldn't need an ounce of explanation. Drugs are bad. Don't do those either. One time could be your last time. Don't ever bet on odds like that.
There are tons of life lessons I had to learn the hard way that I wish I could just protect you from. I know that I can't, but I will be by your side to help you through all of them just as my parents did for me.
