Her mother gave me a copy of one of her senior portraits and I went to buy a frame to put it in. I didn't want just any frame for this picture. It had to be special. My friend came with me and we looked at every single frame in the aisle before deciding on one. It was just a simple black frame, but on it was the phrase, Live every moment, Laugh every day, and Love beyond words. It felt like a request from her to start truly living my life because she was now unable to live hers. I chose to stop feeling sorry for myself and my situation because at least I was still here to be able to do things differently.
It was not a change that happened overnight. I still had hard days that made me consider giving up. When you live a life filled with pain it makes it very hard to want to keep doing it. Every time I would see her looking back at me from that picture frame it would reignite my flame to follow that advice.
Living these days comes much easier. After years of being told I would never have a child, my child finally came. Sometimes I imagine that my friend pulled some strings up there in heaven to make this miracle happen. I have also been given a second chance at love and married a man that seems to have been hand picked just for me. It takes a special kind of man to love someone that never lives a single day without pain.
My point in all of this is to encourage anyone reading this to stop only existing and start living. My pain has not gone away, it most likely never will, but my attitude towards it had to. I refuse to allow it to dictate my life. Don't let pain, physical or emotional, prevent you from truly living. Anger, bitterness, hurt, and sadness only allow for a miserable life. Choose to really start living, laughing at every thing, and truly loving yourself so that you don't waste another second of this precious life. It really can be taken from you in just a few seconds.
