I remember the first time I met her like it was
yesterday. I was standing on a ladder
painting the wall at a friend’s house and she bounced up to me, only the way
she can, and reached up her hand and said, HI! I’m Jessica! She flashed that
smile and I have loved her ever since.
A few months later she called me frantically and said, if
anyone ever asks, you are my sister. Some girl was messing with her and she
told them that her big sister was going to beat them up. It stuck, and from that day on I was her
big sister. She introduced me to
everyone as her sister and even put it on Facebook. I began to take this title very seriously. I gave her advice even when she didn’t want
it. I fussed her for doing stupid
things. When she would fight with her
mother I would always take her mom’s side and explain to her why she needed to
apologize. She was the little
sister I never had.
She will have been gone for four years now after the sun
comes up tomorrow. She was killed in a car
accident at the top of the bridge that I can see from my back yard. She was minutes from her house. She was 18
years old.
I feel like I could write about her for hours. I have so many stories and memories that she
is the star of. Maybe that will be for another day, because tonight, all I feel
is heartache. I still get lovely messages from her friends on this day. My friends also reach out to me. In fact, I just got a text from my sweet
friend saying “I hope this day is getting easier for you … I’ve been
thinking/praying for you all day. I love you.”
Now I am crying. Jessica was just one of those special people that
will leave a void in my heart forever. I
still can’t really talk about her without my throat closing up.
It is always painful to lose someone you love, but I feel
like when they are young, when it is sudden, it is just so very hard to
accept. I always think about what she
would be doing now. There is a stupid
country song, that I can’t even listen to, that sings about that. Whatever it would have been, it would have
been great.
I was talking to my dad the other day about how funerals are
different for people who are believers than those who are not. It is different because of one simple word,
hope. As a believer, I know that when I
get to Heaven I will see her face. It
gives me hope on these dark and painful days that I will see that smile again. I know that she will be there because I was
with her when she decided to give her heart to Jesus. We went to a play at a church one night and
she had so many questions for my dad about what she saw. A few weeks later, we prayed the prayer of
salvation together at the foot of my bed.
If it was not for that sweet time with her, if I had not witnessed it
with my own eyes, I would not have the peace that I have today in knowing that I will join
her one day.
I really had no intention of writing a bible story, but
that is just what came out. If I had just
assumed that she was saved, we never would have said that prayer together. Three weeks later, she went to be with
Jesus.
Not one single person is promised tomorrow. If you died tonight, where would you go? If your sister died tonight, where would she
go?
It’s ok if this doesn’t matter to you, but it matters to
me. The salvation of the people I love
is the most important thing I can think of.
I love you Jessica, see you soon my soul sister.
